Field of Fairytales
by Murasaki Kaida
Summary: ShinoTen. The two forgotten rookies are drawn closer together by what they share and what they don't, to watch the lies crumble around them like ashes. Shippuuden arc.
1. Field of Fairytales

DISCLAIMER: Oooh, if only I owned Naruto. Damn you, Kishi!

MISC: First ever ShinoTen, and it's kinda serious...not complete romance, because it would take a while for these two to hit it off. No sudden explosive romance for this pairing, methinks. So...this is my interpretation, and I seriously hope it's in character because all I've had in my head for weeks is Hidan. Written for Rel. Was originally gonna be a oneshot, but is being continued at her request. There's a fanart of the same name for the pairing by me (and coloured by Rel) at DeviantART. PLEASE REVIEW!

* * *

The wind dips the stalks of overgrown grass. They bend compliantly, swaying. The endless field of rich, spring-green is all there is - miles upon miles of dancing vegetation. The pale blue sky has a smattering of fluffy clouds. Not a hint of rain cumulus is visible. The sun hides behind one of the clouds. Its rays sparkle out from underneath the fluffy white, seeming to stretch downwards to the earth.

The stalks reach up to his waist, caressing him. Teasing him. He stands still, arms folded, the world darkened through his sunglasses. He wonders why he feels so at home here, where it's so empty of life. Only the movement of the stalks and the humming of the bugs tell him that he isn't completely alone. It's eerie in its human silence and space, but that's the way he likes it.

They've gone again – his team. Shino knows that his silence is as much to blame for his constant exclusion from missions, but he doesn't care very much. To him, it's a matter of principle. He doesn't believe that someone should be forgotten simply because they have nothing to say.

The breeze rustles his coat, almost blowing the hood off of his head. It dips the high, baggy collar of his under jacket to briefly reveal his thin lips before he pulls the collar back up again. Sometimes, Shino's glad to be on the fringe of things. He's glad to be outside of the strange ties that bind the other ninja of his generation because none of them seem to see or think things through very clearly.

They all hold onto their fairytales. They fight for their fairytales. Every single one of them.

Sometimes, Shino's glad that being left behind means he won't have to see them when reality comes knocking.

He tilts his head to the breeze and listens as one of his kikkai bugs returns to him. They've confirmed the identity.

Reduced in size by the distance is a large metal structure. Almost an inverted cone in shape, the deep grey speckled with large patches of rust sits amidst the tall grass. It looks old even though it is a fairly recent addition to the fields, and it sits against the sky like a cardboard cut-out.

The wind darts against his side. The sudden gust carries thick, deep emerald leaves off into the clouds. He follows them with his gaze.

A red and white stunt kite swirls in the sky. It catches thermals and dips in time with the grass. The ribbons trailing behind it catch the wind and twist.

Under his attention it seems to soar. Seems to get high enough to slip between the vapours of clouds and disrupt hues of blue. His arms slowly unfold. Calloused fingertips brush the blades of grass in a whisper before settling at his side.

He begins to step forward, hands outstretching. Fingers grasp at stems and tips in time with the motions of his feet. He moves through the tall field, only the whispers of the grass letting the world know that he is there.

The kite hits a thermal and shoots into a graceful spiral, rising up once more. He follows it with his intent stare and his body.

It is close now. He can see seams in the material, the strings attached to it as it dips and sways. He follows the strings to the puppeteer.

She moves in coordination with the thermals. Her legs work with lithe grace as she moves backwards. Arms shift, a pulley in each hand being tugged. The more she pulls her hands behind her, the higher the kite goes.

Soft brown hair is slipping loose from twin buns, dusting against her forhead and falling against her shoulders in tendrils. Her sleeveless shirt shows the muscles in her arms, small but compact. He tilts his head to the side.

Tenten is here often, though he's never come to see her before. Shino is fully aware that Tenten is forgotten, just like him, and that she's independent enough to think he might be pitying her. He's given her time and, in the streets of Konoha, he's given her his silent attention.

He thinks it's time now.

The head turns, brown strands catching the wind. They blow across her face, flicking into her eyes and getting caught between her wind-chapped lips. A hand reaches up, brushing the hair away. She tucks it behind her hitae-ate to get it out of the way.

The breeze blows past them. The soft green grass rocks around them, brushing their waists and arms. A smile cracks over her lips when she sees him – small, laced with anticipation. She turns back and begins moving her arms again. The kite rises higher into the air.

He approaches. She is utterly indistinguishable – scentless, with no hint of chakra. But heat radiates from her body. He unconsciously moves closer.

He glances over his shoulder. Their angle and constant backing up has moved them. He can see the metal structure growing clearer and larger.

She follows his gaze, brushing her hair away from her eyes again when it slips loose of the hitae-ate. "I like the water tower," she smiles. She doesn't seem bothered that she can't see his eyes, but her voice holds a wild edge to it. "It looks right because it doesn't, you know?"

He stares.

She chuckles quietly. "Never mind."

He lookes at her. Her smile is wide, eyes glowing. The kite is losing altitude, but she doesn't look at it.

The sun slips from behind the clouds. Its rays fly quickly over the waiting grass to bathe the two nin in warmth and gold. The light glints off of her hitae-ate and brings out highlights in her hair. Her skin looks soft and clear – he wants to touch it and feel the sensations his kikkai bugs have tried to tell him about for the past month. A group of birds begin circling the water tower.

She grins. Her arms fight to raise the kite again. As it ascends, she turns to him. One at a time, she fits a pulley into each of his hands, ignoring his sharp inhalation. She closes his fingers over the handles.

Moving behind him, her fingers encircle his wrists. Giving a little tug, she pulls his arms back, raising the kite a little. His elbows don't bend, the movement is stiff. His eyes are wide behind the sunglasses and his muscles are tense. She's bolder then he thought she would be, and much bolder then him. The realisation is a satisfying one.

She gives his wrists a little squeeze. He relaxes. His gaze softens and fixes on the kite. When she tugs his arms again, his elbows bend and the momentum is just right. The stunt kite soars, a dash of red on the wind.

He does it again, and again. He is barely aware that she is no longer helping him, but watching him with soft eyes – warm like melted chocolate.

Tenten, he thinks as the kite dances in the sky, also holds onto her fairytales. She most likely dreams of knights in shining armour and ivory towers.

The difference with Tenten is that she holds onto them because she knows she can't have them and never will. Shino thinks that this is an intelligent thing – a strong thing.

He looks over his shoulder at her. She quickly diverts her gaze to the water tower, her cheeks turning pink. Shino turns back to the kite and smiles behind the collar of his jacket.

Birds skim the kite as they fly by. The sun warms their faces.


	2. Castle in the Sky

DISCLAIMER: Kishi owns Naruto, not poor, broke me.

NOTES: I heard an conversation like the one in this chapter on a TV show (long since forgotten) and the concept of lives and walls haunted me ever since. It's a concept I think everyone can relate to, and in the Naruto world...I think Shino and Tenten would be able to see it clearer then everyone else.

* * *

Shino doesn't understand why all of the scents that make up Ichiraku's stall are so unappetising and overwhelming to him, nor does he understand why the overall effect is almost likeable even in spite of this. It's one of those things, he decides, that he might never understand about himself.

It might be because the pork cutlets are of the best quality, or that the spices used are rich. It could be as simple as the fact that he's at the stall with his friends that makes this atmosphere likeable – though that probably isn't it. Shino highly doubts he'd enjoy, say, a pile of manure if his friends were there also.

Of course, the situations are somewhat different. But Shino doesn't dwell on it.

He runs his palm over the counter, waiting for his ramen while Kiba and Hinata chat animatedly to the other ninja crammed into the stall. The wood grain is rough against his hand, but finely crafted. It's been covered in beeswax, which has darkened the patterned whorls in the surface.

He thinks that the wood reminds him of her, but he means it in a literal way. He's not poetic, and doesn't pretend to be romantic or emotionally deep. He simply sees the roughness and the intended shape as being parallel to her, and everything she stands for.

Maybe he's been watching people for too long.

Since several of the rookie nine and the Root ninja all returned from their mission to defeat two Akatsuki members, Shino has watched them talk and laugh around him like he isn't there. It's nice to be recognised, and nice to be acknowledged, but often Shino is okay with not being noticed after that. It gives him a chance to observe people as they would naturally act, without them being 'creeped out' by him.

She's quiet when she sits next to him but he feels her surreptitious gaze and senses the slight fidget on the stool before she asks for miso ramen. She's scentless – something Shino admires. He's noticed it before, and notices it more and more until it becomes something he consciously checks for every time she is near.

He wonders if she's waiting for him to speak, and feels sorry that he has to disappoint her. Shino never speaks when he can't think of anything to say, and he wouldn't disrespect Tenten by doing any different. He isn't regretful when he thinks that she might be disturbed by this – if she is disturbed, then she isn't what he thought she was. And Shino will have to cut his losses.

She snaps apart her chopsticks and puts them on the rests, looking at the rambunctious group on the other side of Ichiraku. She smiles and does nothing else. She looks like she might be envious, but he doesn't think she's envious of them in particular. Just that they're the ones who are always chosen. She's envious of circumstance.

She looks at him – a fleeting look that's unreadable with its speed. When she looks away, her movements are a little too smooth and a little too distracted. She looks down at the counter top and says nothing.

Shino is disappointed. He isn't sure what's disappointing him exactly, and he decides that he doesn't want to know. The feeling is enough.

"It's funny," she says suddenly. Shino's disappointment and doubts dissipate when she leans closer so that her low voice can be heard over the clatter of bowls and the loud talking. Her chocolate eyes are warm and worn all at once. Shino can see faint lines around the edges and – not for the first time – thinks about what the life they have all chosen is doing to them. "How people react when their lives are threatened by change."

Shino doesn't have to answer or ask for clarification. He feels it probably doesn't matter anyway. Change is always an important factor in fairytales – threatening change, that always gets reversed by a knight or a prince. Or an unlikely hero.

He turns his head towards her a fraction, to show that she has his attention.

Behind his sunglasses, he watches how her cheeks colour faintly and she smiles, looking at him with steady brown eyes. They're strange eyes – gentle and tough at the same time. Shino wonders if maybe he only sees that because he watches her practising with kites beneath the shadow of the water tower. He wonders if he's the only one who sees half of the facets of her life.

"They're scared of it – what it could mean," she continues, glancing at Naruto and Sakura as they yell at Sai. "Not just to their lives, but to them as people. They can never seem to deal or adapt to what it means. If that makes sense," she rolls her eyes, smiling self-deprecatingly at her inability to fully express what she means.

Shino understands anyway, and can easily fill in the things she's left unsaid.

Their food is placed in front of them, and both utter quiet graces. Shino begins to pick at his food, not very hungry but – having been bought a meal by Kiba – not willing to waste precious food. He hunches over the bowl with his chopsticks, and senses her doing the same.

He's suddenly aware from his posture and the slight frown on her face that he must seem distracted or uninterested in the conversation. Kiba and Hinata understand his standoffishness, but he knows it's foolish to expect anyone else to do the same. He turns slightly towards her and continues to eat his ramen, his unseen gaze trained on her.

She's somewhat flustered, Shino sees, and she drops the fishcake back into her ramen with a little splash. She dabs at her mouth with a napkin and brushes a hand over a tightly-wound bun. "They decide they want things to stay the way they were, before they discovered these new and horrible things."

It's something he's never done himself, but he's seen it often enough in other people. It's a bad quality, he decides – this running away from newness and change. It's just like the princess in the ivory tower, guarded by a dragon. She's locked, unchanging in her castle in the sky, until someone comes to save her from the time rift she seems to have created.

"So they build a wall around themselves," she says, "hoping to block everything out – the change - so that they can carry on with their old lives."

Shino pauses, his chopsticks hovering above his bowl. He listens for a moment to the ninja in Ichiraku, laughing and joking – even Shikamaru, whose sensei was only recently killed by two Akatsuki. Even he can laugh from within his ivory tower.

"Doesn't work, of course," she adds, and her voice is the breezy cheer of someone nervous at being the only speaker – and nervous at the possibility of being corrected. She fiddles with her chopsticks, apparently not hungry either.

"No."

She blinks at him, startled to hear his voice. He's pleased by the way she looks pleasantly surprised, and he remembers her smile underneath wheeling kites.

"They are living their new life with a wall around it," Shino says.

She smiles. Shino is glad that he turned to her, and spoke to her. He doesn't understand why it should be important to her, that he give his attention. But maybe it's the same as why he finds it so important to make sure she's not forgotten in the fields of overgrown grass.

"It sounds like a horrible way to live," she murmurs, finishing her food and putting her chopsticks down. "Do you think the wall ever comes down?"

"It's normally torn down by the wrong people," Shino replied.

"The right people – "

" – rarely have the courage to destroy something so fragile."

"And if it's torn down by the wrong people – "

"It's ruined," he said simply. "It's brought to death and decay and the princess in her tower has to live with the reality that time carried on without her, and change has passed her by."

She's quiet. Tenten, Shino realises, doesn't want to believe this. Perhaps her fairytale is that everyone can be saved, even from themselves. It's a nice thing to believe in, but in his opinion, a foolish thing. "Once the wall comes down," he says quietly, "it would be like being exposed to illness after a long time in quarantine, without being able to adapt to strains of the viruses before it. Few could survive – and not without losing their castle in the sky."

"A horrible way to live," Tenten repeats, watching him hand back his bowl. She studies him, and he turns his head to her fully to return the gaze. She doesn't blush this time, and he wonders at which point in the conversation this new development occurred. "Have you ever lived...in a tower?"

"No." Shino stands from the stool and mutters his thanks to Kiba. He puts his hands in his pockets and walks away from Ichiraku. A few feet away, he turns back. "And I don't believe you have, either."

Her eyes widen slightly. She looks at the others, but her conversation with Shino is going unnoticed. "But – but why, when everyone else, why us – "

"Don't be mistaken," Shino said, a little too shortly – Tenten winces. "We are not unchangeable. In fact..." he tilts his head at her. "We have changed the most, and that is because we haven't needed to change."

"I think I understand," Tenten says, biting her lower lip.

"That is always the beginning," Shino says, "and it will do for now."

When he turns and walks away, every step feels new, as though he has never walked over this ground before. He is very aware of the eyes on him back in Ichiraku's, and wonders if she is watching him or watching his feet, as he walks away from the white tower.

And pauses to give her a chance to follow.


	3. Hopeful Lies

DISCLAIMER: Kishi owns Naruto, not poor, broke me.

NOTES: Like the previous chapter, I heard a conversation like the one in this chapter on a TV show (still forgotten) and it appealed to my philosophical side and has stayed with me all these years. It puts into words abstract understanding that I could never solidify. It fits Shino/Tenten, I believe, because Shino would require his love interest to have smarts. He's a very mentally-focal guy.

* * *

Every time that Team Gai - minus her - joins another team and leaves for an important mission, she stands by the gates and stares long after they've disappeared. Leaving her behind isn't a regular occurrence, but it's often enough - and for important enough things – that it takes the sparkle from her eyes.

Her skills are slighted when she cannot use them, her efforts wasted on those who are lost in the fairytale where only they and their single-minded goal exist. Every time that she watches them walk away, she uses a little more of her youth and another chunk from her castle in the sky.

Shino thought it might be a beautiful thing to see, in the beginning. To see the last illusions and falsities fall away from her eyes. He is now beginning to believe that he has made a mistake – that seeing the truth being driven into a person in this way is just as bad as the wrong people tearing down the wall around someone's heart.

He realises that even Tenten, with her strength and her silent solidarity, could be broken.

He stands out of sight, camouflaged against trees and rock, as three fourths of Team Gai walk away with two members of Team Kakashi. She's standing at the gates, watching their retreating backs with eyes the dull brown of mud. Rock Lee waves back to her but she doesn't respond.

Her hands clench and unclench compulsively. She is small, standing alone, and incredibly feminine. So feminine that Shino feels that he's never appreciated her gender quite so much before. If he doesn't know her to be a kunoichi, he would think that she looks breakable. Fragile.

Perhaps at this moment, she is.

Shino walks towards her on silent and sure feet. At some point in the weeks...months...since they were more forgotten than ever, this path towards her began to feel more and more like home.

She doesn't twitch or frown. She recognises his chakra and remains staring as the guards close the gates to Konoha behind her team. Shino stops beside her and watches as well, and he feels a burst of ire at her team. They clearly don't realise that the worst way to cure a fairytale is to trample all over it.

"I know what you're thinking." She squares her shoulders and forces a smile onto her rosebud lips. It doesn't touch her dull eyes and creates strange lines around the corners of her mouth. Strands of hair have escaped her buns and twine against her neck. Her cheeks are flushed, as though from exertion.

It's attractive – she looks so very alive and...and _fertile_ that she's magnetic.

"I see what you get at when you think it, too," Tenten says, and her words are rushed and choppy. Shino can tell from her tone that she wants to lash out, and he remains silent and still. Frozen in her line of fire. "But it really bites when people get caught up thinking that it's so important to see things for what they really are."

Shino watches her calmly from behind his glasses. The small portion of his face revealed by his jacket and underjacket is cool, completely at odds to the increased thrum of blood in his veins. His rapidly beating heart is exciting his kikkai bugs and he has to forcibly calm himself down. He waits.

His silence seems to anger her. Her eyes are fiery all of a sudden, filled with flames and bitterness. She steps closer to him, frowning when he doesn't step backwards. "Isn't everything we do, every single day – every little _plan_...isn't it all a lie?"

She seems to search his gaze, even though she can only see herself reflected in the lenses of his glasses. He can tell by the furrow in her brow that she wishes he wasn't wearing them, and probably wishes that he is hurt by her voice.

Shino understands every little thing Tenten does, even if she doesn't understand him. He's had time to observe and learn and sympathise. He understands, and doesn't hold her waspishness against her.

She breathes out in a gust and kicks a small pebble across the ground. "We make these plans and rarely keep them – we think 'oh, maybe tomorrow' and even as ninja, we forget that there might not _be_ a tomorrow. And even if we _did_ keep them, we'd just keep on planning and doing things, all with our eyes closed. We're pretending that we don't know that one day, we won't need to do these things anymore."

Shino feels a tightness in his chest. Those people – they're breaking even those who aren't part of their castle in the sky. It makes him irrationally annoyed, to think that people can destroy each other so easily. Especially those who have so much more waiting for them down the line.

He believes that there is much waiting for Tenten – he believes it with a fierceness and confidence that confuses even him. Shino has no idea what he believes will come of her, but whenever he looks at her he knows that she will be important. It is only unfortunate that for anyone to reach their levels of greatness, they have to survive their peers.

He parts his lips to speak, and even though he makes no sound, Tenten looks up. The movement is so fast that Shino realises that she was wanting this – wanting his input. The thought is a strange one. Disorienting. He can't remember a time when anyone actively sought his opinions or his company.

He supposes that this is part of what makes Tenten so unique. Special.

"This is something that is everywhere, Tenten," he says simply. He by no means wishes to slight her feelings or belittle her, but he feels that it is important for her to know that...she isn't alone in her feelings. By any stretch.

Her eyes widen and her cheeks flush. But he sees no hurt in her eyes, and is relieved.

"Hope," Shino continues, "is the biggest lie that there is. And it is the most common lie that there is. It is the most _necessary_ lie that there is. Hope keeps us going as though every little plan matters...or we most likely would not keep going at all."

Shino detests hope, and yet he loves it as well. It isn't just hope that has hurt him in the past, after all – hope has also made him who he is today. It is what will make him who he will become. He doesn't doubt that it is hope that keeps him seeking her out, watching her and wanting to remind her that isn't alone now that she's strayed from the path the others still stand on.

"You must continue to ask the questions," Shino says, "even when you know there will not be any answers."

Tenten stares up at him with her wide eyes, and he wonders when she became so close. It's disconcerting and unnatural – he has never had his face inches away from a lady's like this.

It is also a nice change. A change from the usual reactions of disgust and alienation.

"That sounds so...lonely," Tenten says.

"It does not have to be," Shino replies. He pauses. "I am not lonely."

"You're not?" She speaks her words carefully.

"No, I am not," he replies. "Life does not have to be a lie, if you co-exist with someone who can see the truth. Someone you can call a companion."

She flushes, and Shino realises what he said and how it can be interpreted. He wonders how he ever managed to say such a suggestive thing, and beneath his high collar, his cheeks tinge pink.

Then she grins. "You speak strangely sometimes, Shino." She winks. "That's part of what makes you interesting."

She turns and walks away, and Shino watches her with widened eyes. He doesn't understand what changed within Tenten between their conversation and her last words, but he can tell that her previous sulk has passed. Kiba has told him before that women's moods can be mercurial, and he can see it now.

Tenten's sulk was painful to observe. He is proud of himself for helping her be rid of it and giving her the strength to understand.

Even though he feels that Tenten has won a small victory against him somehow.


	4. Oiled Machines

DISCLAIMER: Kishi owns Naruto, not poor, broke me.

* * *

A well-oiled machine. It is a phrase that has lost all meaning to Shino, because even machines – by nature – are ambiguous.

His own team gets by, but it is not as efficient as – say – the InoShikaChou trio. It is something Shino both envies and sees as impractical. It would be nice to have equal camaraderie with Kiba and Hinata even though the idea alone alienates and disturbs him.

Team Gai are an anomaly. Shino stands in the glades of the training area, unnoticed, and watches the three ninja train. In their case, well-oiled machine seems to apply. Their abilities complement each other and they train as though they know each other very well –

No.

They train as though they _understand_. That is the fundamental factor for any team – and the factor most teams lack. He wishes his own team were closer and stronger, but Shino knows that it is almost impossible to have the correct combination of people with the correct mindsets.

He is almost envious.

It is her. She is the balancing line between Rock Lee and Hyuuga Neji, a catalyst. The way she moves and summons her weapons is tailored, not just for her team, but for the present moment.

If such team spirit is appreciated among them, they do not show it. They exist as they are meant to be this way, as though they are built to work together and that, in many ways, is admirable.

It is Neji that bothers Shino. He shows excessive amounts of self-absorption even in combat and is too refined to make proper use of his control and arsenal. When Neji and Tenten fight, Shino feels his skin crawling with something other than kikkai bugs and he feels scandalised somehow.

It is beautiful and powerful and something he is not sure he could ever achieve – the way they move. And yet there is something deeply wrong with the scene. Shino thinks it is remarkably rehearsed.

Like a story.

Hyuuga Neji is a typical prince, Shino knows. He is a mockery of a human being, a piece of paper in 3D form. He has all of the qualities of a fictional cliché and to any logical person, this would make him the furthest from a prince that any woman could want.

Especially Tenten.

And yet, as she spars with them, Tenten's face continues to show the blind wonderment of a child. She glows underneath Neji's attention, not realising that the same condescension the traitor Uchiha Sasuke always wore is there in the Hyuuga's eyes as well.

He would be the one to destory Tenten's ivory tower, that arrogant fool. He would do it knowingly and uncaringly.

Shino only cares because Tenten is like him. She sees most of the world without rose-fogged eyes and her heart beats strongly even when on her sleeve.

He wants to stand with her when the world makes sense and she no longer needs castles or towers or princes.

He may look down on those who live in their fairytales, but Shino knows that the fairytale world is remarkably less lonely than the one he lives in.

He wonders if Tenten realises that she will not be alone when she crosses over to his world. Or if she prefers the company of lies.

Shino puts his hands in his pockets and watches Lee dodge some of Tenten's kunai. She attacks and immediately feints to avoid Neji's strike, her body movements smooth and fast. Neji's hand passes within an inch of her face.

Shino tenses.

He has faith in her abilities, of course. Shino isn't sure why he is tensed, but that does not stop it from happening all the same.

Team Gai are indeed impressive. If nothing else could be said for Maito Guy, he is a good sensei who has played to his team's strengths as a unit...as team players.

He himself has been cast as one third of a skilled reconaissance team, but...his relationship with his teammates leaves holes in their tapestry. As a ninja, it is most likely a pragmatic way to be.

Still, Shino supposes that his situation is leagues better than the drama-torn lives of Team 7. If there was ever a team he did not envy, it would be them.

Tenten takes a direct hit and falls to the ground. Shino twitches, a few kikkai slipping out of his sleeves.

Hyuuga Neji helps her up with a stiff posture and a vacant expression. His hand lingers on Tenten's arm. For a moment, her cheeks flush, and Shino feels something hard and cold in the pit of his stomach.

Then Tenten glares her defiance and pulls her arm away. The foggy dullness leaves her chocolate eyes and she leaps back into a fighting stance. Her features are beautifully clear of confusion and doubt.

Beneath his collar, Shino smiles.

She still believes in castles and dragons, no doubt. But she is testing the waters on his side of the pond and finding the water clearer.

Shino understands man's natural need to submerge and cocoon himself in murkiness. Sometimes he wonders if, given a choice, he would consciously choose fantasy over life. If he would choose to live in a field of fairytales rather than watch dreamers frozen in time destroy themselves.

It does not matter anymore. He is there to guide Tenten and ensure that she is not alone and forgotten. To be forgotten is to be truly dead, truly lost. It is something that cannot be allowed to happen. He will help her with everything he has. That is what you do for someone who you call 'friend'.

Shino melts into the shadows of the training grounds. It is difficult to stop watching Team Gai, and yet he feels that something inside of him may rupture if he continues to do so. Perhaps he is more envious than he originally thought, or perhaps he feels uncomfortable with the delusional prince in his midst. Shino cannot tell, and he is fine with this. He does not need to know.

As he forces himself to turn away from Team Gai and walk away from the training grounds, he decides that Tenten should be allowed her fairytales a little while longer. She can daydream as much as she chooses – she is still young, after all.

He can oly pray that she does not look in the wrong place to slay her dragons.


	5. Cardboard Crown

DISCLAIMER: Kishi owns Naruto, not poor, broke me.

NOTES: Like usual, I heard a conversation like the one in this chapter on a TV show (still forgotten) and it appealed to my philosophical side and has stayed with me all these years. It puts into words abstract understanding that I could never solidify. As always, this is for Rel.

* * *

She trains with her team more and more these days, and it is impossible for him to find her alone. It would be nice to catch her once more, flying kites in the overgrown field without anyone around to hear the truths she speaks.

He doubts it is deliberate – frustration creases her eyes and makes her movements choppy. Perhaps it would be arrogant of Shino to believe this change to be because of him, but his kikkai tell him that her eyes search the shadows for him often. That she tries to break away from the herd so that he can find her. They both have questions burning on their tongues, and the need for answers grows stronger every day.

She never finds him with her gaze – never notices him watching from the most hidden of vantage points. It is a stand-off that has become more intense than either of them intended. Shino does not like the idea of the deluded fools around them seeing their snatched moments of conversation. He does not like the idea of having to approach her under these conditions.

Uzumaki Naruto is getting stronger under Jiraiya-sama, Kakashi – the sensei who would have abandoned him – and Yamato. The blond boy continues to strive for his fairytale – his biggest and most hopeless dream. And three adults help him 'achieve' it by burying their heads in the sand. Shino is uncertain whether the obnoxious jinchuuriki makes his way through life on deceptive skill or blind luck.

Yet, Naruto keeps beating the odds that even Shino bets on, and it is absurd.

He wants to understand it.

And so he caves. He approaches Tenten while she takes a break, sipping from a canteen and watching her teammates spar. A sheen of sweat covers her skin but she is still scentless and undetectable. Some wisps of hair have escaped her buns and curl about her neck.

Her eyes widen when she sees him walking towards her. Shino is casual even when out in the open, facing her where all around them can watch. The people in the training ground pay them no heed and continue as though time only stops for Shino and Tenten.

Or does time continue only for them?

Shino stops, watching her look at him warily and...eagerly? Yes. This is new, and this is wanted.

"What makes a man?" Shino asks, a note to his voice that he does not recognise.

"A man?" She echoes, her canteen close to her pink lips.

"Who he is," Shino clarifies, and the muscles in his shoulders tense. He anticipates the answer, he realises. He has always asked the questions but known better than to anticipate the answers.

Since when did merely asking questions not be enough?

"His experiences," Tenten replies, her eyes clouded with thought. She looks at the ground, searching through memories and information that only she can see. "Everything he learns, from anything and everyone."

"But the forming of a man into who he is...is it the worst things that he has ever done?" Hosting a demon, caring for a traitor, defacing monuments...

"Maybe it's all the good things he wants to be," Tenten says, and she smiles. Shino feels a pang when he realises that she relates.

"What if it does not work that way?" Shino asks. Tenten looks at him and blinks. When she watches his face, he wonders what she sees. And what he wants her to see. He takes a deep breath. "When you find yourself...at a point in life where you could die any day, for any number of reasons...perhaps at the centre of your short life. What if you are far away from where you were supposed to be going?"

Her eyes darken. She sees.

"How can you find your way from what you have become...to what you could have been?"

Tenten stares at him, and Shino feels vulnerable – exposed. It is an alien feeling that he has no experience with. It is uncomfortable and weakening. Something he wishes to avoid, even though he knows that to avoid this would be to avoid Tenten. And that is becoming impossible.

She parts her lips to speak –

And yelps as Rock Lee is prevented from propelling into her by a cloud of buzzing kikkai.

"S-sorry!" Lee gasps, leaping away with wide eyes. He holds his hands up, instinctively fending off whatever offence he may have caused. He sees the bugs first, and looks to Shino –

Whose countenance is shadowed, his shoulders stiff and squared.

"A-Aburame-san!" Lee blinks. He looks between Tenten and Shino. "I apologise! Neji gave a particularly spirited kick – "

"Are you alright?" Hyuuga Neji asks. Tenten nods, a little pale, and Neji looks at Shino.

His kikkai remain in the air and every individual beetle reflects the irritation that Shino manages to keep from his face.

White eyes and wraparound glasses clash, the Hyuuga clearly uncertain of Shino's place in this dynamic but accepting the unspoken challenge with a glare of his own. The air buzzes, crackles. Thickens.

"I did not realise you were having a conversation, Tenten," Neji says, and Shino's muscles bunch. "I apologise for the inconvenience."

Tenten flushes, darting a look at Shino. "Don't wor – "

"See that it does not happen again," Shino demands. He does not like the Hyuuga's stance and positions himself in front of Tenten. Should it come to it, _he_ would be the fool's opponent.

He sees the narrowing of Neji's eyes and the way Lee looks between all three ninja curiously.

Most of all, he feels Tenten's look, and he can sense through her sudden slip in chakra that he has broken one of her illusions about the invincible, undisputed Hyuuga. In challenging Neji's dominance, Shino has challenged everything Neji stood for in Tenten's mind. It was inedvertant, but extremely fortunate. He wishes he had thought of it sooner.

When he teleports out of the training grounds, he feels breathless. Not because of the confrontation, but because Tenten saw part of the real Neji.

The one with the cardboard crown.


	6. Magnetic Hub

DISCLAIMER: Kishi owns Naruto, not poor, broke me.

NOTES: Thanks for all of the reviews, guys! I find it deeply amusing that this, my actual multi-chapter, is shorter than the 'drabbles' in Metamorphoze...but I think that for this story, it's what isn't said that's just as important as what is. I'm not bullcrapping either - I'm trying for a Raymond Carver style of negative space writing, and I seriously hope it's working.

Rel, my dear inspiration and friend, made a fantastic trailer AMV for this fic - the link is in my profile under '**Arts and Videos**'. The AMV is called '**3am**' and is stunning - I'm completely chuffed with it, especially since it uses my favourite ShinoTen song. Please give the AMV the love it deserves!

Please review XD

* * *

The sun is a strange white rather than the usual gold and its glare does not seem to bode well for the day. Even Shino's sunglasses are doing little to protect his sensitive eyes and so he takes a longer, shaded route through houses and alleyways to reach his team. He could hurry, but he believes that such a thing should only be left for emergencies. He hates to believe that he is hurrying through life for any reason.

His shadow is long on the path before him, and not for the first time when studying it, he thinks of Shikamaru. It is interesting to him how easily simple day to day things can be related back to people he knows, whether he knows them on a personal level or not.

Shino has had varying degrees of communication with the Rookie 9 over the years. Most have not even heard his voice. All seem to be uncomfortable with him in their own ways – it shows plainly in everything they say and do. He supposes that it is not because of him as a person, but because of his bloodline trait. He is fully aware that this is the cross to bear for most Aburame ninja and in this, he is proud to accept the burden.

It makes those who accept him even more unique and special.

When Rock Lee steps into his path, Shino believes it to be a mistake. Rock Lee is the most unlikely person to approach him. They are dissimilar to the point of being like different species. The taijutsu user's sudden appearance makes Shino pause mid-stride to look at the green-covered boy before him.

Lee beams, giving a thumbs up. He is a strange, resilient boy who impressed Shino in the battle against Sabaku no Gaara. His determination to recover after this battle earned a fair ounce of respect as well - it showed a dogged determination that is worthy of the title of ninja.

But Lee is just as guilty as anyone else in the world of illusions and dreams. Perhaps moreso – as a disadvantaged ninja with many handicaps, the boy takes far too much stock in the wild tales of his sensei. Ambition is a healthy thing but when one flies too close to the sun with their wax wings, they are bound to plummet.

"Get out of my way," Shino says. Then, "Now."

Usually, he tries to be polite. His mother taught him the importance of impeccable manners and honourability. He was always warned sternly that should he fail in these areas, his mouth would be soundly washed out with soap until he communicated through bubbles alone. He does not attempt to be polite this time, because he remembers the look on Lee's face when he spoke to the Hyuuga. That curious, wondering look that can only mean troublesome things.

"Come now, Shino-kun!"

When did this whelp decide that they were familiar enough that he could address him as such? Perhaps he mistakenly believes that he and Shino have some sort of rapport through Tenten – which is absurd, because this would both mean that Rock Lee not only expects to skip the usual processes of making friends but also has assumptions about Shino's friendship with Tenten.

The kikkai begin to hum beneath his skin.

"Maybe you're not a morning person?" Lee smiles. "I recommend sweet coffee. And maybe a full breakfast!"

Shino's eye twitches behind his sunglasses.

"But," Lee says, "I'm here to speak to you about something of great importance."

Shino is well aware of the ability of dreamy fools to intrude on the lives of others. Tenten has done well to be as pragmatic as she is when she is at the hub of so much delusion. And idiocy. It is only natural that some others in the hub are drawn to her freshness and her life.

Shino turns and walks onwards. He hopes that Rock Lee understand the meaning of having a back turned to you.

"Wait up!" Lee calls, darting up to Shino's side with inhuman speed. Shino continues to walk, attempting to plot an escape with bunshins and possibly a violent kikkai attack. A very violent kikkai attack that would finish off Sabaku no Gaara's efforts. "I wish to talk to you about Tenten!"

Shino stops.

He prides himself on his usually flawless control of emotions, but a long line of recent slip-ups is continued by a sudden surge of irrational anger. When he turns to face Rock Lee, he is sure that the extent of his feelings must be visible on his face because he has almost lost complete control of his fraying temper. "What do you know of Tenten?" He demands, his voice low.

If Lee hears the tone, he ignores it. His cheerful smile is obnoxious – enraging. Shino has never felt quite so vicious before, nor has he ever wanted to break someone's jaw when he does not even know the reason as to why he is so angry.

"You see, Shino-kun, you and Tenten are both in the springtime of youth." Lee looks at Shino significantly, waiting. When he receives nothing, he continues. "You are filled with vitality, and emotions run high! However, you appear to be holding back."

"..." Shino glares.

"What I am saying is that you should give in to the eternal beauty of springtime, Shino-kun!"

"It is almost _autumn_," Shino glowers. He has no idea what this fool is talking about, nor does he have much interest in knowing. It sounds like the irrelevant type of drivel he would expect from genin class females.

"Of course," Lee chirps. Around them, people stare openly at the oddest of conversation partners. "Springtime is a _metaphor_."

"For mental handicap?"

"Pardon?" Lee blinks. "Oh, no! Where did you get that idea from? No no, Shino-kun. Springtime is a metaphor that stands for purity and vitality and youth!"

_Everything you shall not be when I destroy you._

" – glory and joy and joyness and – "

_Or at the very least drain you of chakra and leave you in the Forest of Death._

" – fertility and cheer and love! It – "

Shino feels cold all of a sudden. Lee continues to ramble, but Shino is not so certain that he wants to listen anymore. He has a horrible idea that he knows where this conversation is going.

" – flowers! And – "

"Stop."

The martial artist freezes and blinks at Shino. His mouth hangs open from having been stopped mid-flow.

"Make your point and hurry about it. Why? Because I do not have time for idiocy."

"Your feelings for Tenten," Lee says. He looks wary of Shino's change in posture, and Shino realises that he has unconsciously begun to raise his arms. "Such love is imperative to the springtime of your lives, and yet you repress it!"

Shino blinks, his mouth dry.

Is this the impression he gives off? How could someone such as himself be so misleading? He winces when he wonders if Tenten is confused in this manner as well.

It is impossible, of course, for Shino to be in love. Especially without knowing it.

Impossible.

Fool. Rock Lee is an utter fool.

"You are mistaken," Shino says.

"But – Shino-kun – "

"Enough." There is an angry bite to Shino's voice that makes Lee flinch. "Enough of your foolish metaphors." He glowers at the other ninja. "You will cease to harass me and you will not even consider harassment of Tenten. Keep your ridiculous notions to yourself. If I hear that you have been spreading malicious slander, you can only pray that you will be in another country at the time."

Shino teleports away before he harms Lee in his anger. He reappears in the overgrown field, standing rigidly in the shadow of the water tower. He looks up at the sky and takes a deep breath to calm himself. He imagines kites wheeling in the sky overhead, the feel of pulleys in his hands.

Tenten, he decides, is his best friend.

She has never been prejudiced against him or his clan. She has a sharp mind worthy of respect, and she uses it well. She sees into his world and sees beneath the surface of all realities – all people. She sees between the lines.

She is not perfect – he does not want her to be perfect. Does not expect it. He appreciates her flaws, in fact – he admires the way the good and the bad have built a wonderfully strong kunoichi who is sadly overlooked.

Yes, his best friend. Nothing else.

Shino watches the sky.


	7. Glory and Trophy

DISCLAIMER: Kishi owns Naruto, not poor, broke me.

NOTES: Thanks for the reviews, guys! This fic will be 10 chapters long, so it's not far from the end now. I'll be sad to see it go, but...there's loads of fics in the pipeline, so I'll be distracted. The Shino-muse is very strict.

Please review XD

* * *

What makes a best friend? Is it someone who blindly allows the other person to make mistakes and harm themselves for the sake of keeping the peace? Is friendship the point when two people are so desperately trying not to be lonely that they ignore the worst qualities in each other, the qualities that make them frown? Is friendship more of a symbiosis in a parasitic sense - and a best friendship is the highest form of parasitism for both people?

Or is friendship rather like how Aburame Kayako had once described love – seeing an imperfect person perfectly. Accepting their flaws not out of necessity, but because you wish to be with that person. You would act no differently to them as you would yourself or your own family, and the mutual acceptance of your true selves is the most beautiful of relationships.

Yes, it is important to not act any differently to how you usually would. And as a friend, it is good practice to be honest and helpful with your friends regardless of whether they realise they are making mistakes or not.

As a best friend, Shino feels it is important for Tenten to know when she is making mistakes. He trusts her choices to a degree – of course he does. His trust in her is an unusual and refreshing thing. In a world where all others around him seem to suffer from gross incompetence, she is a relief and a joy. Yet Shino knows that everyone also has their individual blind spots.

It is unfortunate that Hyuuga Neji is Tenten's.

She is surprised when Shino sits next to her on the bench. His appearance is unannounced and possibly more casual than she is used to. Perhaps in his effort to be cautious and gentle and a little delicate, he is being too conspicuous. He can feel her confusion an curiosity. It makes him wonder what it will take for her to get used to this – this friendship of theirs.

What would it take to exacerbate it to the point where she no longer has to be surprised at his appearances? Does Tenten even realise that she is his best friend?

Tenten suddenly smiles. Her smiles always seem sudden, like the sun peeking out from behind a cloud. "Hey Shino."

He nods, watching her.

"I heard that Jiraiya-sama died." Tenten looks sad. "I didn't know him but...I feel sorry for Naruto."

Shino heard of this as well. All of Konoha has, really – Jiraiya was one of the Legendary Sannin – the death of a ninja so strong is bound to make tongues wag. He knows it is a grievous loss to the ninja world, that Jiraiya has passed. However, Shino finds it impossible to be sad about someone he does not know on a personal level. That Tenten can feel grief under the same circumstances is an unusual thing.

She is too delicate sometimes.

Shino studies her out of the corner of his eye. She is sitting in a mildly coquettish way – not to gain attention, he thinks, but because she is getting attention. She has never reacted to him in quite this way before – he wonders if perhaps it is because he arrived unannounced, and sat with her uninvited.

His kikkai buzz, seeming to be attempting to communicate something, but Shino does not understand. Their message seems to come from a primitive level that they have never used before, and it perplexes him.

She is smiling, and the smile is glazed. Shino feels a stab of irritation when he recognises the look.

"You are losing yourself in fairytale."

Tenten blinks at him, her eyes widening.

Shino stares out at the trees surrounding them, watching birds flit from tree to tree. "Hyuuga Neji is wrong for your attentions. You are incompatible."

Tenten's jaw flaps. Shino is possibly being too audacious, but he does not dare let Neji ruin someone like her. It would be a dreadful waste and...lonely. Lonely for the selfish part of himself that has come to value her.

"He is a stereotype – the stereotype of everything women in the real world need to leave behind. He is the prince who looks for glory and trophy in the guise of love. He is the one who feels far too much love for himself to be able to give some to another human being."

Tenten inhales sharply.

"You are too good for him."

"What?" She gasps. Her cheeks turn red, her eyes glistening. Her fingers curl compulsively.

Shino stares at her – at her panic and confusion. He expected this, but it is still a surprise to deal with. He begins to reach out –

"Oi!"

He folds himself back against the bench, his movement never noticed by the young woman whose gaze turns towards the intruder.

Kiba runs up, Akamaru trailing behind. Shino does not know whether to be relieved or disappointed that the Inuzuka managed to diffuse the strange charge that has been building between him and Tenten these past few moments. He settles for feeling curious at his teammate's appearance, watching Kiba approach.

"Shino!" Kiba greets, and Shino nods. He has mixed feelings towards the Inuzuka. Kiba is used to Shino and his ways. While it is not as good as acceptance, being 'used to' is the next best scenario. Shino can feel glad that he at least has this.

Kiba's attitude, however, tends to be disagreeable. Shino finds him just as obnoxious as Uzumaki, with the same socially bold ease that Shino both hates and envies others for having. Kiba is painfully blunt, with insensitivity often dripping from every word.

But they are teammates, and Shino is mature.

"Hey, Tenten," Kiba waves. "Got top marks on that mission to Wave – Godaime was impressed."

Tenten, still looking dazed, nods and glances at Shino. Her eyes show a little too much white, and her cheeks are a little too ruddy. She is curious, he can see. Curious – perhaps a little hurt – but not angry. This is a good thing – it is a sign of their friendship, that she can accept his advice and his opinions without being angry.

_He_ feels angry. When did Tenten go on a mission with Kiba? Is this not the type of thing people who are friends talk about? Especially since Kiba is his teammate, and therefore it would be a neutral and open topic of interest that Tenten could have worked into conversation.

Shino wishes he were the subversive type of person to plant a kikkai on her. He wishes he knew just how many men she was so familiar with.

"How about a celebratory lunch at Ichiraku's?" Kiba grins. "My treat."

"O-oh...that sounds good," Tenten mumbles. She shuffles on the bench and shoots an awkward sidelong glance at Shino.

Shino bites his tongue until he draws blood. The coppery taste is bitter – salty and unpleasant against his tastebuds. The pain starts as a low ache that builds up to a sharp slice.

Tenten is being irresponsible. She is shifting from one arrogant egoist to another, never learning from her mistakes, never _evolving_. How can she expect to live as a realist, to be a pragmatic person, when she continues down paths such as this? Shino wants to shake her.

His chest feels tight. It is painful to the point that he almost believes it to be a heart attack, before the vibration of the kikkai beneath his skin reveal that it is anger. He is so angry that it hurts.

He stares at the way Tenten interacts with Kiba and grips the arm of the bench until his knuckles turn white.

One fairytale to another.

And it is painful.


	8. Lead Butterflies

DISCLAIMER: Kishi owns Naruto, not poor, broke me.

NOTES: Like usual, I heard a conversation like the one in this chapter on a TV show (still forgotten) and it appealed to my philosophical side and has stayed with me all these years. It puts into words abstract understanding that I could never solidify. As always, this is for Rel.

* * *

When seasons change in Konoha, Shino anticipates them. He reads them in the littlest of things – appreciates them, enjoys the affect they have on nature and bug life in particular. He changes with the seasons, 'rolls with the punches' as Kurenai-sensei had once noted. For Shino, to be in tune with such things is to be more than a ninja and a bug master – it is to be spiritual, adaptive. Few things content him more than shifting with the seasons as subtly and necessarily as flowers or insects.

It is a sign of the worst when Shino misses the signs of winter – misses the changes in animals and the wind so that the overcast skies and frosted greenery take him completely by surprise.

He is sickened to his stomach even while he sees the lack of preparation and the darkening skies as perfectly ironical. He rather feels more adapted to the heavens than ever before.

Shino wonders at which point the days got shorter, at which point the wind started to bite. To have not noticed these things, to him, is like having a fault in your master machine. He feels broken, malfunctioning. The curious looks of his clan members hardly help. They seem to realise that Shino has failed to keep track of winter's approach, and even behind their glasses he can feel the weight of their unreadable stares. Unreadable even to him.

He is malfunctioning.

He thinks he knows why.

Kiba's habit of inviting Tenten to lunch has roused all alarm bells within Shino. He cannot say that he is knowledgable of Kiba's love life, nor has he ever wished to be. But given Kiba's personality and his general incompatibility with someone like Tenten, Shino is certain that no good can come of the dog ninja's attentions.

It is ironic, really. Tenten now seems to eye the Hyuuga with speculating detachment, her body language conveying a disinterest that made Shino's lips twitch. He had thought that perhaps she had taken his observations into account – and she has. It is obvious in the way that the more Tenten speaks to Neji, the more she does not seem to want to.

It is a good sign, he is sure. A very good sign.

And yet she has moved on to Kiba, who is even less likely to be a fairytale prince than Neji.

Shino clenches his fists, watching them from his unseen position in a tall oak. She looks around sometimes – for him? He cannot be sure. She jokes and laughs with Kiba easily. He has noticed, however, that she always pays for her own meal. Although he cannot be positive of her reasons for this, it makes him feel better about the situation all the same.

Kiba touches her arm as he laughs. She does not shrug the touch away.

When he laughes, his fang tattoos crinkle visibly with his cheeks. She looks straight into his face and smiles back.

Shino clenches his teeth. Perhaps this is what is different. Kiba represents a very open and very giving life force. He is not hidden, he is not shy. He does not speak in riddles. Does this make him refreshing? Is this what Tenten looks for?

The idea that she might find someone like Kiba appealing never occurred to him.

Kiba's fingers brush over Tenten's side when he reaches around to his pocket. Shino tenses, sure that it was not an accidental touch. He feels that he should step in. That he should protect Tenten from such slimy intentions.

And yet he cannot move. He knows that he has no claim over her. As a best friend. Even best friends were only allowed to interfere in their friends' lives to a certain extent.

What if she wants Kiba's company?

"Shino-kun!"

Shino had believed that life could not get any worse, but now he realises that he has not yet reached rock bottom. Through the mostly-bare branches of the trees, he sees the hideous and completely conspicuous green spandex of Konoha's Beautiful Green Beast.

He does not know what he has done to deserve being stalked by this lunatic. Along with missing the comings of winter and watching Tenten sink into a lurid...what? Relationship? Well – certainly _something_ lurid with Inuzuka Kiba. Along with these things, Shino has been avoiding Rock Lee and his odd attempts at encouraging Shino's springtime of _love_.

As if love were really an issue.

"Go away," Shino says. His shoulders slump when he realises that his voice no longer holds the conviction of a week ago. He lacks the dominance and aggression required to send this idiot away, and he is becoming resigned to this torture.

"Shino-kun..." Lee's voice has an edge of sympathy to it. Or is that pity? Shino loathes pity and has decided here and now that if Lee is pitying him for any reason, his kikkai will make short work of the Beautiful Green Ingrate. "Are you going to allow that to happen?"

Shino tenses. Lee's words – obvious in their meaning, and in the way that Lee tilts his head towards Ichiraku's – cut through him like a knife. Shino feels foolish and embarrassed at how obvious he is being, hovering over Tenten in the shadows like a protective father. He has been caught this way now – Lee has seen him. Being caught has cemented this strange obsession with her wellbeing.

Everything seems to be becoming solid even while it falls apart. Looking at Rock Lee, Shino begins to wonder if the smaller and most important details in life are spiralling out of his control. When the smaller things begin to slip away, the larger ones are soon to follow.

"I do not know what you mean."

In truth, he does not. Shino knows what he wishes not to allow to happen, but Rock Lee is not him. Rock Lee seems to have been seeing something else entirely from the very beginning. Something false, granted, but something that has happened because Shino and Tenten have given that impression.

Kiba pats Tenten on the head, and Shino grits his teeth. She is not a dog!

"Kiba-kun is being very familiar with Tenten," Lee points out, straightening his flak jacket as he stands up on the tree branch to peer over at Ichiraku's. "He smiles at her and touches her and talks about breeding."

"What?" Shino's head whips around. His skin feels cold, as though all of the blood has flown away from the surface. His throat is tight and his eyes wide behind his glasses.

The _impudence_. That people could talk about such things in a public place to women is debauchery of the worst kind. Shino has never felt murderous towards comrades until now. It is not a nice feeling – it is as though bile and toxins are spilling from him in a filthy mess.

How dare he? How _dare _he?

Lee's eyes widen and he holds up his hands. "Dog breeding! Sorry, Shino-kun – I didn't mean to startle you! Kiba talks about dog breeding – it's almost time to breed Akamaru with a bitch."

Shino only partially relaxes. Whether human breeding or dog breeding...it is still a delicate topic. Not one to be breached over ramen, and especially not by Kiba. Especially not to Tenten.

He has not spoken to her in so long. They have crossed paths, with nods and – in Tenten's case – a small, visible smile. She always notices him – he is glad for that. No matter who she speaks to most of the time now, she always notices when Shino decides to melt out of the shadows.

He has not sought her out for conversation since that time on the bench. He is not sure what he would say.

He might say something about Kiba. And he fears the ramifications of such an act.

Fears the way he has been acting most of all.

"I thought that..." Lee bites the inside of his mouth, apparently remembering Shino's ire the last time that he was too forward. "I thought that you _liked_ Tenten."

"I do," Shino says through gritted teeth. "She is my best friend."

"I don't mean..." Lee shakes his head. "I mean that Kiba-kun is intruding on your springtime of love and youth! He is dampening your joy and attempting to take the beautiful flower all to himself! I expected that you would fight for her, not watch from the nearest tree!"

Shino shakes with anger. He does not know if it is anger at Lee or anger at himself. "It is not my business whom she spends her time with," he grates out. The strain in his voice surprises even him. "You are misled."

"Am I?" Rock Lee gives a disturbingly serious look, an eyebrow raising. For a brief moment, he is shrewd and understanding, not a green spandex-wearing degenerate. "I'm not sure I'm the one who is misled, Shino-kun."

Shino sucks in a breath.

"It's hard to accept the things that are new and possibly damaging to us," Lee says. "The springtime of youth is no easy thing! When you're little, you like to think that you know everything about everything, even friendship and love and the joy of eternal spring. But the last thing any of us want is to know too much – we keep ourselves from knowing too much all of the time!"

Shino hates him. He closes his eyes and counts backwards from ten.

"I think," Lee says, a smile in his voice. "That what we really want, as children but...even now, I guess...is for adults – parents, sensei, leaders – to make the world a safe place where promises aren't broken and feelings won't be rejected. And it doesn't feel like a lot to ask, does it?"

Kiba is offering Tenten some of his mochi. Tenten declines, and she looks over her shoulder – towards the oak, but not _in_ it. The one glance is enough, however, to fill Shino with something. Something that feels like water rising up inside his chest.

"Tenten won't wait forever," Lee says, and Shino looks at him. The martial artist beams, back to being the irritating Lee everybody loves to roll their eyes at. "She is young – in her prime. She is a tough woman, but she has feelings like everyone else."

Shino looks at Tenten. She is playing with her food, shifting on her seat. Some of her hair is falling loose of the buns. He realises that he has never seen it completely free.

"At least talk to her!" Lee's voice is sombre. "She wonders where you are."

"You have interfered enough for one day," Shino says, his voice tight. "You should leave. Thank you."

The thank you slips on the end so easily that Shino is surprised. He does not know why he has said it. Nor does he understand why Rock Lee accepts it without so much as a blink. The other ninja nods and disappears from the tree, looking remarkably smug.

Shino looks at Ichiraku's.

Tenten is smart. She will understand that someone like Kiba...he is not a bad person, but he requires a maintenance and a speed that Tenten would not be willing to uphold. He is a flighty creature to all women except for, perhaps, Hinata – and Shino knows that Rock Lee is correct. Tenten is a woman, with feelings.

She has feelings that would be damaged by the kind of spontaneity Kiba has to offer.

Tenten needs someone who can view the world with the mixture of calm passivity and physical strength alongside her own firmly pragmatic ways. She deserves such a person – one day, she may find such a person.

Shino is her best friend. He does not understand why, as a best friend, he looks towards that future with lead butterflies in his stomach.


	9. Zeitgeist

DISCLAIMER: Kishi owns Naruto, not poor, broke me.

NOTES: Good god, it's been a long time since I updated this - for that I really, really apologise. There's only one more chapter after this one, so I hope that it can be posted up pretty soon. Where this was my first ShinoTen, as a request from Rel before I liked the pairing or even knew the characters very well, it's vastly different from my style now - now that I know the characters will and love the pairing very much. So it's been difficult for me to get back into the voice of this piece and try to carry it on as it began. I hope I achieved it.

Enjoy!

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She is in the training field, packing away the last of her kunai when he steps forward. He is silent, but she notices him all the same. As he expected.

When she turns to him with ire in her eyes, Shino is confused. He is not confused because she is angry – he is not confused because her neck is flushed with her irritation.

He is confused because he is pleased.

Why should her anger please him? He himself cannot begin to guess. He can only suppose that he is grateful that she feels any sort of emotion when she turns her eyes on him. That he is still capable of drawing some sort of passion from her.

It surprises him, nonetheless, when her first words are, "Where the hell have you been?"

Behind her, the training forest is losing its leaves and vitality. The oranges of autumn are slipping away into barebone greys and blue shadows. Winter's bite is in the air, the skies devoid of birds.

When Shino last saw her, from the branches of the tree near Ichiraku, leaves as brittle as old bones had still clung to the limbs and had fought to keep their colour. Time has passed, yes. And yet, in this little dance of theirs, time has never mattered before.

What has changed?

"...away." This is the only answer he is willing to give. The only answer he knows, before he wanders into territory he himself does not understand. He has never been the sort to lock himself up in the Aburame compound, praying that he left his feelings on the other side of the door. He is not very willing to admit that it is what he has regressed to now.

"No shit," Tenten mutters. Hurt flashes through her eyes – so fleetingly that Shino cannot be sure if it was ever there to begin with. Her eyebrows draw together and her lips pinch with irritation. But she meets the lenses of his goggles without a flinch. "I thought we were friends, Shino."

"Of course we are," he says, and when he sees her expression, he realises that he should have left off the 'of course' part. It pains him, how very lacking in eloquence he often is. Shino blames it on rustiness in social situations. He has not had the evolution of speech that most of his generation acquire with practice. "You...are my best friend."

It is a large admission on his part, and the raised eyebrow that meets it causes a stabbing feeling in his chest. He swallows around the tightness in his throat.

"Don't you realise that makes it worse?" Tenten asks, folding her arms. But her voice is not angry. It is disappointed, and that is so much worse. "Best friends don't disappear without a word for _three weeks_, Shino. And I know you didn't have a mission."

How she could know this seems second par to _why she would want to know this_. It makes Shino's head lift a little more, his back straighten from its slight hunch. It takes him several moments to realise that he should reply to her. That he should attempt to make things right.

"I apologise."

The breeze stings – it will snow very soon. It is obvious in the scent of the air and the colour of the sky. It stains her cheeks a blotchy red, several shades darker than the frustrated flush over her skin. Tendrils of brown have slipped loose from her buns and flutter around her slender neck.

"That's it?" She asks.

"No," Shino replies quickly. There is a peculiar tightness in his chest, and he resists the urge to lay his hand over the spot. His mind races, attempting to find something he can latch on to and repair the situation. The friendship. "I was away to think." Plausible. "Did you know...that the fairytales we know now are very different to the originals from so long ago?"

Tenten stares at him. She shakes her head, looking down at the bag of scrolls at her feet.

"The originals," he says, "were darker. Their content was more violent, more...sexual."

She looks up at him.

"And they did not always end well for the protagonist. The competitor for the princess's affections...the villain...always won in some way or another. Even if he did not live to see his deeds."

He waits for her to say that she prefers modern fairytales better. He is not certain whether he will be pleased with this, or if he will be irritated that she is once again replacing one fairytale with another. His hands curl into loose fists in his pockets, and Shino is surprised to realise that it is very difficult not to shift from foot to foot.

"Why?" She asks finally. Her eyes narrow – as if she is challenging him. "Why would _any_ version of a fairytale be so dark? I thought everyone liked happy endings."

"People speak of death, or marriage, or reproduction...as if they are happy endings," Shino says, unconsciously stepping closer to her. "The truth, however, is that we rarely see the true endings. Why? They cannot be contained in cliché or words. They cannot be touched."

She gulps with visible difficulty.

"It is highly likely that back then, the princesses were prone – whether they did so consciously or unconsciously – to exactly what they are prone to today, once you scrape away the gold plating." Shino finds the loose hairs fascinating, the way they dance against her neck. "Women...tend to like what is bad for them when it comes to men."

Tenten frowns.

"It is not an offensive remark," Shino says. "It is true. Villainous men...'bad boys', as it were...lack certain inhibitions that keep the law-abiding man from achieving anything he or his lady wishes. Remember, Tenten...most things people wish to achieve are easiest achieved through wrong-doing."

"So women go for the men who'll do the best by them."

Shino flinches. He does not understand why. "Women will go for the men who will do _whatever they have to_. And often, whatever they want. They do not realise that such men can turn on them. They do not realise that it can lead to a life...so much less than they deserve."

They look at each other. Annoyed by the distraction it presents, Shino tucks a thick tendril of brown strands behind one of her ears – pausing when her breath hitches. He looks at her – plain-faced and real, with the most lost brown eyes he has ever seen. He is close enough that he can see hints of golden brown flecking through her eyes, and every eyelash that she peers at him through.

Her face is so close to his that he can feel her breath against his chin.

"Does that mean the older fairytales are truer?" She asks in a dazed voice.

Shino tenses. He cannot explain his flash of irritation. "No." His hand is still near her face, he realises – his fingertips brushing her cheek near her ear. He removes his hand slowly. "It would not be a fairytale, if it were true."

He steps back from her, feeling as if only when there was distance from him could his lungs pull in air. His body is taxed, as though he has been training for hours. Or is it his mind? He finds it hard to tell the difference between the two lately.

"You are truly something," Shino says, shaking his head. "The perfect zeitgeist."

"Is that a compliment?" She asks, and he can hear the tremor she valiantly tries to hide.

"It is the best compliment I can give," he replies.

"Will you go away again?" Tenten's voice is demanding. It would be amusing were he not so ambivalent with emotions already.

"Do you wish me to stay?" Ah. There – he has said it. Will she forgive him?

"So long as it's not a chore to you," she sniffs. "I don't like being a chore."

"I will return." He cannot rebuke her idea of being a chore. Do so would feel too much like stripping off his own flesh.

He plans to leave – to walk away, and return tomorrow when his thoughts are in place. He steps forward, preparing to dash away from the training forest.

"Shino!"

He stops. Looks over his shoulder.

"You think all the time, you know," she says with a small grin. "You never stop. You don't need to hide away to do it next time - I'm used to it by now."

It seems they are both breaking down some wall neither had realised was in place. Shino can only nod and depart, leaping off of tree branches with more force than necessary.

For all of his talk about the good that could come from tearing down walls...he is not sure if he wants this one to break.

He is not sure he wants to see what is behind it.


	10. Behind the Wall

DISCLAIMER: Kishi owns Naruto, not poor, broke me.

NOTES: This is it...the end O_O I'm actually kinda in shock. It's been a rocky ride with this story - my writing style has changed so much since the beginning of this fic that I've had to try and imitate my old style to complete it.

And now it's done.

I can tell you that a new ShinoTen multichapter will be started very soon. Details on it will appear in my profile in the next few days, and on the ShinoTen FC.

I hope you enjoy the last chapter, and thanks to everyone who has read, reviewed and continued to support ShinoTen!

* * *

"Why do people never admit their true feelings?"

It is hardly the most comfortable of conversation openers, and Shino wishes he had never approached Tenten at Ichiraku. He wants to stay true to his promise – that he will stick around. But Tenten makes it a hard task – an A rank mission with unknown outcome.

He sits next to her on the stool, hiding his reluctance with his posture but declining to order anything from behind the counter. "People do not often know their true feelings."

The statement has particular irony, and Shino feels as if he has missed something. As if something important has fallen between the cracks somewhere between the first time that he spoke to her in the field and now, as he watches her eat her ramen.

"Consciously, maybe," Tenten replies, looking at him. "But I think that they're always pretty aware of their feelings underneath, and always react in response even if they don't know they're doing it."

He thinks about it. Can't bear to think _too much_ about it.

"I've watched a lot of people," Tenten says. "There isn't much difference between them, really – they all sort of boil down to the same things. Some people are using one feeling to hide another. I've hated timid people before, and realised that they're not timid at all – it's just the easiest way to live for them. Crazy, right?"

She laughs. Shino wonders why he is so tense.

"Some people are ashamed of what they feel, so they act how they think everyone else wants them to act. What's 'socially acceptable'," Tenten does bunny ears to emphasise her mocking tone. "Those people are always the most fake...and the most sad, I guess. They can never accept who they really are, so no one else will."

Shino has always found that true of everything, not just people who are ashamed of what they feel. He has found that acceptance is rarely found among people, when pecking orders and the need to be superior is always getting in the way.

But Shino has long since given up on the idea of people being inherently good before they go their varying ways in life. He used to reach out to people – he used to try and make his voice heard. In some ways, he realises, he has done the opposite of those who live in fairytales. He has excluded himself from all that might entail hope, because hope is the all-encompassing lie that could break him.

He is no longer certain that that is the best way to live. He is no longer certain of many things.

"And..._consciously_, there are the people who supposedly don't know what they feel," Tenten continues. "But I think 'understand' is the better version. They don't understand how they feel. That's human, right? No one fully understands what they feel, because no two feelings are ever the same. That's why true love probably doesn't exist."

Ah. This they can agree on, at least. "Two people will never love each other for the same reasons."

"Nope," she nods. "So...that kinda calls love into question for me. You know? My grandma always said that love is 'two imperfect people feeling perfectly for each other'. That seems right to me – well, if you believe in perfection." She laughs. "But that's going in a crazy loop. Two imperfect people..._feeling_ for each other no matter what."

Yes. That is about right.

"But I'm not meant to be talking about love." Tenten flushes, as if she has been caught doing something she should not be doing. "Feelings...aren't understandable. Even if they're pre-programmed into us from birth with chemicals or something, humans can never guarantee that they feel the same."

Shino watches her. He can feel a point building up – a reason behind her words. His body is taut, his breath held. Something inside him is anticipating her words. Something is giving in to hope.

What is he hoping for?

"I was talking to Kiba the other day," Tenten says, "and it came up how his mum chased off his dad. Did you know about that? I mean, I hear his mum's pretty scary and she ran his dad right out of Konoha. And Kiba was laughing and joking about it, shrugging and rolling his eyes..."

Shino tightens his hands into fists. Kiba – Kiba, who is bright and obvious and _there_, always present, always –

"...but you could see in his eyes that he wasn't feeling it, and I thought...why bother hiding that? Is he afraid I'll think less of him because he's being honest? Does he think it makes him less of a man? Of a ninja? Is he ashamed that he misses his dad? Or doesn't he even know why when he laughs, he doesn't feel happy or amused?"

He should not be feeling like this, Shino decides, feeling his kikkai vibrating beneath his skin. Tenten's words are platonic and caring and thoughtful – they are something the Shino of older days might have considered. They are the thoughts of a good person.

So what are his thoughts, now that he wishes harm to Kiba? Now that he cannot even bear to hear someone expressing kindness to him – no. To hear _Tenten_ expressing kindness to him?

"You know, when he smiles at me, sometimes I can't tell if there's more or less to his face," Tenten says, looking into her bowl. "And I wonder what he's hiding from – "

"Kiba makes no effort to hide _that_, surely," Shino says, his glare hidden by his goggles. His ire rises beyond his control. He has never felt more sickly, nor more alive. "He is blunt and crude and you are far from obtuse, unless you deliberately try to be so."

It overflows from him – a black, inky river of tar and anger that as so thick and plentiful that he is certain it was within him from long before he set eyes on Tenten. He is certain that he is expending every last ounce of despair he has carried within him since he was a silent and solitary boy.

He rises from his stool as he feels his anger shifting – changing into something much more deep-seated. A flesh wound on his heart.

He cannot look at her. He absurdly feels that if he looks at her, he will see Kiba printed all over her features, her body. Her lips.

He runs.

Shino has not been admitting his true feelings.

He realises this now, leaping through the trees. He realises what his body, his kikkai, his heart – _Rock Lee_, for pity's sake – have been telling him from the beginning.

And Shino is angry and hurt, because in spite of his preaching – in spite of his emotional growth and his understanding and his _healing_, he has lived behind a wall. Not a wall that he built around himself – but the wall that surrounded everyone else, leaving him outside on his own, where he has told himself that he needs nothing but his thoughts and his own flesh and blood.

Until her.

_And now the wall comes crumbling down_.

He does not know what love is, when he does not apply it to his family. He only knows that he has _wanted_ her where he has turned his back on everyone else. He only knows that she has unsettled the bricks, where no one else had thought to try.

Shino arrives in the field shaking. His hands are clenched into fists as he stares across the long grass towards the water tower, which is silhouetted against the setting sun.

So this is what has become of him. He mourns for the genin who had made so many attempts to be accepted. At least that young incarnation of himself had tried – you have to try to fail. It is only a shame that to him, it is unfathomable to fail.

Perhaps he would not be this half existence if he had been a little more receptive.

If he had never given up.

"Shino!"

He tenses. He had not expected her to follow – had not even dared to hope for it. When he turns to face her, he knows that something must be showing on his face because Tenten stops, staring at him as if she has never seen him before.

She has not, if he wishes to be honest to himself.

He crosses the grass to her with steps that seem confident but in truth are fatalistic. He moves with the determination of one who believes all is already lost, and when he kisses her he demands nothing from her lips or soul.

Her response is burning – her insistent mouth and the hands that pull his hood down to twist into his hair are eager, tinged with desperation. He is surprised but he never stops, allowing her to strip his upper half down to bare skin because...

It is so important for to realise that he is a man. Above all else.

When he reciprocates, her flesh is the warmest thing he has felt in a long time. Her breasts, her neck, her hips – he is reverent in his touches, and worshipful with his kisses. He lowers her onto her back and smothers her cries with his lips when he enters her.

Every moment seems to have led to this point. Every word and touch and breath were rehearsals and even if he does not know if he can keep her, Shino knows that this is the closest to that meaningless word 'love' that he will ever get.

It is his name she cries, and with every touch to his body it is her lips and skin that tell him she feels the same. His blindness is removed – he can see the truth behind every word she has spoken to him, every gesture of acceptance she extended to him that the shadow of his teammate caused him to never see.

Shino's release leaves him boneless and shaken. For the first time since he was a young child he can feel the sting of tears at the back of his eyes, because nothing is the same and he has to rebuild over again.

The way Tenten curls into his body and presses her hand over his chest tells him that she will be there.

Perhaps in fairytales, the knight in shining armour is taken too literally. Perhaps it is not the idea of a shining hero who will slay dragons and kiss the princess awake that everyone wants.

Instead, it is the idea of a normal person – a mere man...or _woman_...who can go beyond human selfishness to make a difference in someone's field of fairytales.


End file.
